I am a professional housesitter.
I sit in your house!
I keep an eye on things, I bring in the mail, I keep the "baddies" away,
I feed your pets, walk your dog, and water your plants!
I adjust my process to suit the preferences of whoever I'm working with. If you'd like, I'll contact you about everything out-of-the-ordinary that happens. Or I can contact you about nothing and take care of everything on my own.
If you'd like, I can periodically check in with you at whatever interval you ask. Or let you know about a certain piece of mail that you've been waiting for when it has finally arrived, if you describe to me exactly what I'm looking for.
Or I can handle everything quite well on my own to allow you the freedom to forget about your house while you're away. I'm great at dealing with anything that comes my way in a calm and organized fashion, I know how to keep good relations with neighbors, and I know not to let anyone in who hasn't been given explicit permission, so you can feel safe to unplug and disconnect for a while without worrying about checking in about the house. I have had my own house, after all!
I count on very clear written instructions including any extra details about what to say to neighbors, or warning me if your washing machine always sounds like it's breaking, or letting me know whether or not it's ok to pull extra hard on that one drawer to get it open. I also appreciate a walkthrough of the house, if you have time before you go, in case there's anything you forgot to mention in your instructions that you might remember to tell me about during a walkthrough.
The sliding-scale pay arrangement for this service is based on how big your house is, and how much work it is to maintain it. If you just want me to watch your tent while you're gone, or watch your backpack while you go to the bathroom, I'll do it for free. If you want me to watch a whole house, it is going to cost you money. However, the price is up to you.